Reader,

Let’s talk about emotional labor. Not just the obvious kind like holding space for grief, crisis, trauma, and oppression.

I mean the quieter kind: The follow-up email asking for “just one more thing.” The request for extra resources after a meeting. The expectation that because someone is generous, they must also be endlessly available.

This is a call-in, not a call-out. Because I know most people are not trying to be harmful. Most people are asking from genuine curiosity, urgency, or need.

But intention does not erase impact. And in liberatory spaces, how we ask matters.

I recently had someone ask me for resources after attending one of my free Community Liberation Sessions. (and they understood my feedback/call-in without defensiveness —thank you for that!)

But here’s the thing:

Whether you attend my space or someone else’s space—or whether you’re the one offering the space—asking is not a bad thing. Setting boundaries is not a bad thing. Clarifying the ask is not a bad thing. Saying "no" is not a bad thing.

Just keep in mind that when you (or I) offer a free space, pulling together additional resources afterward requires extra labor beyond what was already offered. And that matters.

I am very mindful of what I can offer for free (and I hope you are too.) But free does not mean effortless. Free does not mean there was no labor involved. Free does not mean unlimited access.

I have free resources because I have intentionally calculated my bandwidth—my time, my energy, my finances, my nervous system capacity—and decided what I can happily offer for free. And I hope that you too.

That part is important: happily.
Not resentfully or while quietly burning myself out. Not while teaching liberation and engaging in self-erasure at the same time.

Everything beyond that has a cost. Not because I am gatekeeping, because I am being selfish, or because I am trying to be “too capitalist.”

But because my knowledge took labor. My training cost money. My experience took years. My facilitation requires energy. My lived experience has been accrued… well… over a lifetime. And my time is also how I pay my bills and redistribute to others.

Protecting all that is not greed, it is integrity.

Especially for those of us with marginalized identities, there is often an unspoken expectation that our labor should remain accessible, soft, endlessly available, and preferably free. (Otherwise, we’re accused of “participating in the very systems we’re trying to abolish.”)

But that expectation is not neutral, it is political. It is often shaped by (inadvertent) entitlement, by proximity to power, and by systems that have always extracted from some people more than others.

So I want to clearly name this:

Please be mindful of what you ask for. How you ask for it. And in what spaces you are asking. Especially if you are in spaces intentionally created around justice, liberation, and anti-oppression.

If you are in a free offering, ask yourself: Was this already provided? Am I asking someone to repeat labor they have already done? Am I asking for individualized access inside a collective space? Would I ask this the same way if I fully understood the labor behind it?

This is not me saying don’t ask… Ask… But ask with awareness, with reciprocity, and with respect for capacity.

Liberation work is not built through extraction. It is built through relationship. And relationship means understanding that community care is not the same as infinite availability.

Sometimes care looks like generosity. Sometimes care looks like a boundary. Both are still care.

And if we want liberatory spaces to survive—not just exist temporarily until someone burns out—then we all have to practice this.
Not just the people facilitating. All of us. In all of our practices, in all of our services.

So I’ll leave you with this:

When you ask for more—are you asking from reciprocity, or from entitlement?

With liberatory care,

Silvana

​​Liberatory Letters | The Practice of Liberation | Decolonize Your Practice​

PS.
​The Practice of Liberation (The POL) goes out next week.
The POL is a slower, more intimate space where I explore what it actually looks like to practice liberation—in real life, not just in theory. In our work, yes, but also in how we live, choose, relate, and unlearn.
​​Each monthly letter includes: a long format letter, prompts for reflection, a 10-minute embodied practice to transform knowledge into, a book recommendation, discounts on future workshops.
​The next issue is about practicing interdependent self-governance, holding institutions accountable while building beyond them.

PPS.
​The next Community Liberation Session will take place on:
➡️ BIPoC clinicians: May 21 — 2 pm PT / 5 pm ET
➡️ white clinicians: May 22 — 1 pm PT / 4 pm ET
This is a virtual gathering space for therapists, healers, and space-holders practicing decolonization and liberation as a lived, relational commitment — not just a framework. Sign up here​

PPPS.​
I'll be presenting the workshop "Decolonizing Mental Health Therapy: Examining power, identity, and practice" on May 29th. It's a 3-hour workshop (with NBCC-approved CEUs) in collaboration with Therapist To Therapists.
You can find more information here. There's an early bird discount!

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⬆️ Let's connect!