Reader,

There is not one right way of doing community or communal care.

As I prepare for my Decolonizing Mental Health Therapy Workshop, I have been thinking a lot about intercultural communication theory and how it places cultures along continuums, for instance between individualism and collectivism (it's way more complex than this, but this is my one-sentence version).

One of the things I appreciate most about this framework is that it does not romanticize either style. It acknowledges that both individualistic and collectivistic cultures carry strengths, limitations, contradictions, and trade-offs.

That feels refreshing to me because too often conversations about community become flattened into morality. People either idealize collectivism as inherently “better” while criticizing individualism as isolating, or defend individualism as freedom and criticize collectivism as boundaryless, while ignoring the ways both models can create care and harm depending on how they are practiced.

So I guess this is my long-winded way of asking:

What does community actually look like for you?

Not the version imposed by hustle culture, capitalism, social media, western therapy culture, family expectations, or performative progressivism narratives. Not the version that sounds the most impressive online or the one your favorite educator promotes. Not the version that leaves you chronically depleted while convincing you that exhaustion is proof of love, solidarity, or "doing the work."

I mean the version your nervous system genuinely experiences as supportive, grounding, relational, and sustainable, both for giving and receiving.

Because community is not necessarily knowing all your neighbors, although for some people that can become an important source of support and care.

Community is not only regularly spending time with friends, though of course meaningful friendships matter deeply.

Community is not simply having politically aligned or like-minded professional peers, although many clinicians are realizing how much liberatory spaces can soften isolation and moral exhaustion.

And community is also not automatically having an “open door” policy where friends, family, or neighbors can access you at any time without limits, boundaries, or consent.

Sometimes I think people hear conversations about communal care and imagine they are failing if they are not constantly available, endlessly social, highly resourced, deeply networked, emotionally accessible, and capable of showing up for everyone all the time.

But community cannot be separated from bandwidth, capacity, disability, trauma, caregiving responsibilities, neurodivergence, finances, energy, grief, chronic illness, survival, or simply the season of life you are in.

Not everyone has the same amount to give.
Not everyone feels safe in the same kinds of spaces.
Not everyone experiences connection in the same way.

And honestly, forcing yourself into models of community that fundamentally do not work for your body or spirit is not liberation either.

So maybe the question is not:​
​“Am I doing community correctly?”

Maybe the question is:​
​What actually helps me feel less alone?

Because boundaries work both ways.

I think communal care becomes more sustainable when it is rooted in mutuality instead of extraction, consent instead of obligation, and honesty instead of performance.

And maybe this work has to begin with us first.

With learning to build relationships that do not require self-abandonment.
With practicing forms of care that our nervous systems can actually survive.
With allowing ourselves to stop performing impossible versions of togetherness that leave us depleted and resentful.

Not because we are giving up on community, but because we are trying to practice it in ways that are more human.

And maybe, from there, we begin to model something different for our clients, friends, families, and communities too.

I do not think there is one perfect blueprint for belonging.

But I do think many of us are trying to find our way back to forms of connection that feel more honest, relational, and livable than what dominant culture often offers us.

So I’m curious:

What kind of community allows you to feel most like yourself, rather than the version of yourself you feel pressured to perform?

Hit reply and let me know. I may not always be able to respond immediately, but I do read and genuinely appreciate the reflections you share with me.

The May Community Liberation Sessions are open for registration. These spaces are for clinicians and healers who want somewhere to bring the tensions, questions, contradictions, grief, and possibilities that emerge when trying to practice liberatory care inside restrictive systems.

At a time when many clinicians are feeling isolated, constrained, morally overwhelmed, or ethically exhausted, these sessions continue to become spaces for collective reflection, liberatory practice, and community. You do not need to have everything figured out to belong here.

With liberatory care,

Silvana

​​Liberatory Letters | The Practice of Liberation | Decolonize Your Practice​

PS.
​The next Community Liberation Session will take place on:
➡️ BIPoC clinicians: May 28 — 2 pm PT / 5 pm ET
➡️ white clinicians: May 22 — 1 pm PT / 4 pm ET
This is a virtual gathering space for therapists, healers, and space-holders practicing decolonization and liberation as a lived, relational commitment — not just a framework. Sign up here​

PPS.​
I'll be presenting the workshop "Decolonizing Mental Health Therapy: Examining power, identity, and practice" on May 29th. It's a 3-hour workshop (with NBCC-approved CEUs) in collaboration with Therapist To Therapists.
You can find more information here.

PPPS.​
Instead of a Community Liberation Session in June, I will be offering a live workshop on Decolonizing Your Practice.
Together, we’ll explore some of the current tensions and realities shaping mental health work — and I’ll guide you through my 4-step framework for beginning to shift your practice in more decolonial and liberatory ways that work for your current bandwidth.
​Sign up for the waitlist here.

​​​​

⬆️ Let's connect!