When You’re Holding Others... while you're falling apart (from the archives)


[from the archives]

Reader,

This is something that keeps coming up in conversations with other clinicians:

and it's even more relevant now in 2026... even though i wrote this a while back

How do we keep showing up for our clients when we’re moving through so much ourselves?

When the world feels like it’s on fire, and we’re holding stories that mirror our own pain?

Let’s be real:

Being a therapist or healer in a chaotic world (to say the least) often means holding other people’s grief while trying to manage your own.

You show up to session after session, heart open.

You offer presence, validation, tools, reflection.

And sometimes—maybe often—you’re quietly navigating the same pain your clients bring into the room.

☁️ Burnout.

🌍 Local and Global violence.

💔 Disconnection.

😞 Rage. Helplessness. Fear.

Your exhaustion is not a flaw—it’s a response to holding too much, too often, in a system that doesn’t hold us in return.

Yes, a system that doesn't hold us in return...

And in a decolonial framework, we stop pretending that healers must be above the suffering.

We reject the myth that professionalism means disembodiment.

So what does a decolonial approach look like here?

It looks like this:

🌀 We make room for the full human behind the healer.

You don’t have to be unaffected to be effective. You just have to be honest—with yourself, your community, and your capacity.

🌱 We reject the extractive model of care.

You’re not a resource to be drained. You’re a person in motion. The more you treat yourself like someone worthy of care, the more your work reflects that.

🧯 We don’t just cope—we locate.

We ask: Where is this pain coming from? Who benefits from me burning out? What narratives tell me I can’t fall apart and still be a good therapist?

💬 We tell the truth in spaces that can hold it.

Maybe that’s in consultation. Maybe it’s in community. Maybe it’s just in your journal today. But truth-telling is part of our liberation.

Because here’s the truth:

You are not a machine. You are not a savior. You are a human being called to hold complexity—and you get to be complex too.

In a decolonial model of care, we don’t perform perfection and we don’t try to fix clients.

✨ We practice presence.

💫 We let go of isolation.

And we remember that even while we heal others, we are allowed to be healing too.

Here's to holding our own complexities and to resisting through healing 🔥

In solidarity,

Silvana​
Liberatory Letters | The Practice of Liberation | Decolonize Your Practice

PS. You've just read one of my most-read letters — sadly one that still feels very relevant. Can you believe it's from April of 2025??
I’ll share a couple more while slowly finding my way back to work.

PPS. You can read previous Liberatory Letters here.

⬆️ Let's connect!

Liberatory Letters

I help therapists, healers, and space-holders bring decolonial and liberatory values into their work—so you’re not just saying you’re aligned… you’re actually practicing it. ⬆️ More integrity, more connection, more liberation. ⬇️ Less burnout, less performative wokeness, less colonial residue. If you want a practice where marginalized clients feel safe, seen, and honored—and you want to feel more grounded and intentional in your work—subscribe and join a growing community of practitioners doing this work differently. You practice can be liberatory-- let's get you there!

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