I help therapists, healers, and space-holders bring decolonial and liberatory values into their work—so you’re not just saying you’re aligned… you’re actually practicing it. ⬆️ More integrity, more connection, more liberation. ⬇️ Less burnout, less performative wokeness, less colonial residue. If you want a practice where marginalized clients feel safe, seen, and honored—and you want to feel more grounded and intentional in your work—subscribe and join a growing community of practitioners doing this work differently. You practice can be liberatory-- let's get you there!
When Your Colleague’s Learning Becomes Your Emotional Labor (part 2)
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Reader,
I’m starting a series of emails called “I Am Tired of This Shit, This Is Why I Do This Work Though” where I’ll walk you through my years in private practice (and maybe through some of my years in community mental health and other places… although that might traumatize you) and share some of the well-intentioned, not-so-well-intentioned, and everything-in-between interactions I’ve had with other practitioners. These are the kinds of experiences that capture the struggles of trying to practice differently within systems that keep teaching us to do things the same old way, and why I keep doing this work as a liberatory educator, supervisor, and therapist.
Last week, I told you about an experience I had five years ago when I was trying to coordinate care for a client of mine. I shared with you that I do my best to be thorough about what my clients need from a referral, including the kinds of identities, experiences, and cultural attunement that might matter in their care. This client and I had discussed the fact that the chances of working with another WOC were low, but the best we could do was reach out. The client even vetted the messages I posted on different boards and listservs. We were being thoughtful about the process and trying to find someone who might be a good fit. Another clinician who responded to my request sent me this message after an initial consultation: I do not exaggerate when I say that this response stressed me out so much that I needed to process it with a couple of trusted peers. But this time, I didn’t have any anger in me. I had exhaustion. I was feeling like the only BIPOC therapist in town, lonely and tired of being asked to “process” another practitioner’s anxious response to race and difference. Please know that sometimes we do not have the energy to ask for clarification or get curious about someone’s best intentions. Sometimes, we just feel the 1,000th papercut coming, and nobody (outside our identity --any marginalized identity) seems to notice. This doesn't mean I don’t believe in learning, accountability, or giving people room to get things wrong. It’s that it's exhausting to be the person expected to make that learning possible for everyone else. And I know some of us were taught to ask clients directly, “What does it feel like to work with a clinician who is [insert privileged identity here]?” My beef with that question during a consultation is that we may inadvertently be asking a potential client to engage in emotional labor before we’ve even established a therapeutic relationship. They may feel they need to normalize the idea of working with us, reassure us that it’s okay, or explain their pain to someone they barely know. And why should that be their responsibility? We can talk about difference. We can acknowledge that our identities, experiences, and social positions shape the relationships we build with clients. But there’s a difference between opening a conversation because we’re curious about a client’s experience and opening one because we are anxious and need the client to help us feel better. The former can be part of care. The latter risks asking the client to take care of us. So I want to ask you this: how often do we call something “being curious about a client’s experience” when what we’re actually doing is asking the client to manage our discomfort with difference? Hit reply and tell me what you think. With liberatory care, Silvana Liberatory Letters | The Practice of Liberation | Decolonize Your Practice PS. Speaking of the things we need to learn to see differently, I’ve been putting together Widen the Frame, a free email series that explores the 12 conditions that make up a healing ecosystem, one email at a time. We’ll look beyond what happens in the therapy room to the material, cultural, ancestral, relational, political, ecological, and other conditions that shape healing. It’s an introduction to the ideas behind Healing Is An Ecosystem, especially if you’re curious about expanding your understanding of healing but aren’t ready for the full field guide yet. You can sign up here: Widen the Frame. PPS. Healing Is An Ecosystem takes the idea of widening the frame much further. The field guide is for clinicians who are ready to look beyond the therapy room and consider the conditions surrounding a person’s healing: material circumstances, community, culture and ancestry, spirituality, relationships, the body, identity, creativity, ecology, politics and systems, and more. It asks you to consider not only what you can provide as a clinician, but what else might belong in someone's healing ecosystem. You can think of Widen the Frame as the doorway, and HIAE as the place where we spend more time exploring what we find once we walk through it. ⬆️ Let's connect! |
Liberatory Letters
I help therapists, healers, and space-holders bring decolonial and liberatory values into their work—so you’re not just saying you’re aligned… you’re actually practicing it. ⬆️ More integrity, more connection, more liberation. ⬇️ Less burnout, less performative wokeness, less colonial residue. If you want a practice where marginalized clients feel safe, seen, and honored—and you want to feel more grounded and intentional in your work—subscribe and join a growing community of practitioners doing this work differently. You practice can be liberatory-- let's get you there!
Reader, A quick update on what's available & possible: ❤️🩹 Healing Is An Ecosystem (hiae): as self-paced guide (60+ pages) to help you assess the conditions that actually help clients heal, widen your lens, and stop feeling like you are the only one responsible for you clients' wellbeing. ⛰️ Widen The Frame: a free 12-day email series introducing 12 conditions that shape healing and helping you look beyond the therapy room when thinking about what clients need. I’m starting a series of emails...
October 2026 | issue #12 Reader, I grew up below the equator, in between cold waters and big Andean walls. In between humid mild winters and foggy mild summers. No shorter days in winter, no longer days in summer. School and university taught me when vacations were “supposed” to be. Holidays growing up were time off from work or school. They were not celebrations that meant something. They didn’t necessarily mark transitions into a different season. Many of the holidays we celebrated were...
Reader, A quick update on what's available & possible: ❤️🩹 Healing Is An Ecosystem (hiae): as self-paced guide (60+ pages) to help you assess the conditions that actually help clients heal, widen your lens, and stop feeling like you are the only one responsible for you clients' wellbeing. ⛰️ Widen The Frame: a free 12-day email series introducing 12 conditions that shape healing and helping you look beyond the therapy room when thinking about what clients need. 🌿 the Practice Of Liberation...